This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2) Review


I have decided I will rate this book five stars because I don’t want to punish if for being the sequel to a favorite. That This Book is Full of Spiderssaid, if the only way to evaluate this book was comparing it to John Dies #1 it would have an entirely different rating.

The Good Stuff: 
This book continues to have a fun and engaging plot and voice. It is fully entertaining and. . . like I said, fun. It might sound shallow, but reading is supposed to be enjoyable, and this is a by-far enjoyable read. The writing is strong not because of flowery-prose but because the MC is pronounced. It is mostly written from David’s POV and that is not just indicated with pronouns but with the characterization of every description. I really respect that. When it shifts POV it isn’t so strong, which disappointed me, but I really did appreciate the character development of the other secondary characters. It was right on. I also thought a lot of the plot points in this story were very sharp. The author combines modern warfare tactics like drones with a supernatural apocalypse scenario which was very believable. He also combines modern technology and Internet hysteria in his discussion of the apocalypse. His contemporary discussions had to be a step ahead of the cliche because the cliche doesn’t live in the modern times. I appreciated this innovation.

The Bad Stuff:
It is mostly shallow, like an action movie. It is really entertaining and I love it for that but John Dies #1 had meat behind it and this book basically didn’t. There were some moments of this book where I stopped to think and philosophize but most of the time it was just meaningless action. It didn’t have the harsh bite that the first one had behind the plot. The nihilistic horror came up a couple of times and I loved those parts but they were segmented. It didn’t drive the story.

Also, besides being in the same universe and following the same absurd metaphysics, this book really isn’t a sequel. There were a lot of huge questions left unanswered in book one. On one hand, if all the questions were answered it would lose a lot of the horror. On the other, shouldn’t the confusions at least be addressed in the sequel? They didn’t even have to answer them. There was only one quick dialogue between [Carlos/Amy/Dave] that seemed to hint on the truth-about-Dave that was revealed in book one but it was really ambiguous and like three lines.

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Fault in Our Stars: Review/Discussion


The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars (Photo credit: TheNerdDilettante)

Let’s get the crying discussion out-of-the-way.
A book isn’t good because it made you cry. I understand that the significance of that is really ambiguous. But yes, I have been crying for the past few days, while reading this book, and I fully expect to cry for a few more days. And then, if the books does fall out of my consciousness I still will be crying because I’m stumbling over some personal battles. The crying is more about me then someone else’s story. But expressing this really human/mortal experience that triggers this emotional prolonged emotional response is why ‘crying’ is used as a way to say this book is really good. Because it is inflicting a pain that’s so human.

‘Cancer Book’ Discussion 
That pain isn’t cancer. I wouldn’t say that writing a sad cancer story is hard. Most creative content about cancer is sad but not all of it is as dynamic as Fault in Our Stars. The depth of this pain that the reader goes through is what makes this book intelligent. This depth exists for two reasons.
One: The writing of this book is phenomenal, on a contemporary masterpiece level. Yes, I know “Young Adult” and all but listen to me, long confusing prose isn’t what defines a literary masterpiece. A literary masterpiece is a book with a strong point of view, the MC Hazel Grace was engrained in every plot point, every description, every thought plop, and the plot itself was engrossing, and the relationships grew and shrunk and were divulged and shown in full complexity, and even the secondary characters were expressed with full dimensionality and growth and blabla, I could rant on and on from a writing POV on why this is a good book —
— but who gives a fuck about that.

Two: This book is a new favorite because of something way more emotional and potent then anything you can learn in a creative writing class.
I said that the pain isn’t cancer but that doesn’t mean I fully believe this isn’t a cancer book. I understand the metaphorical significance of cancer but disregarding the non-metaphorical, non-romantic, non-emotionally painful, actual concrete plot-driven experiences that Hazel Grace and her lover Augustus Water experiences is the kind of thing that would cause Hazel Grace to roll her eyes at you. Yeah, there is metaphorical weight to cancer but her pain came from a very real and physical place, as was many components of the plot, so I disagree with saying this book isn’t a cancer book. It is a cancer book. It also has headfuckery that goes beyond the physical consequences of a tumor.
The Personal Stuff
I think by now you understand my 5-star review thing. Cool. If you haven’t read it and just wanted a review then please leave now and go grab it from your library and commence on your own literary self-destruction and revel in it. If you have read it and feel like I do, vacant and alone in a world of vacant and alone bodies, and want to attempt to connect with someone then I’m about to divulge some parts that connected with me….
I know I love. I know I love my boyfriend, and parents, and friends, and art, and all the life in the future, even if it is going to hurt, and all the other lives around me, even if I’m shy, and even myself, even when I’m dark, and this book is the reminder that it is all going to pass. It isn’t the only reminder but I almost shut some of those morbid thoughts out of my head. And reading this book was like my first loved one’s funeral, that first realization, that everyone that I love will die. That I have three choices in the world: mourn a loved one, be mourned for, or die with that loved one. That’s the situation that scalps me.
But this book is far from nihilistic. We might all die and end up in a ditch and end up forgotten in the long-term but who cares about the long term. The mortal points of our life are filled with so much significance that it might as well be infinite because it would take an infinite quantity of time to recognize what all these emotions and experiences really are, really mean.
That’s what makes it worth it. We aren’t grenades ready to blow each other up. Pain is worth the moments alive with each other, the love that we share with each other, that pain is a byproduct of living, we can’t avoid it, so we might as well feel pain for those that are worth it, and that’s why we need to love. That’s why the romance in this book, from lover to love, to parent to lover, to friend to friend, is all so fucking real.
It is like this:
Dear my lovers:

I love you so much that I will mourn for you. I could mourn for someone else but you are worth it. You are worth the pain of mourning because living with you is a universe: subliminal, infinite, and filled with love.

Meta Analysis on Self-Destruction 

The Fault In Our Stars

The Fault In Our Stars (Photo credit: rachelkramerbussel.com)

Yes, this book can be optimistic, I sorta just said it was, right? But I still think this book was more a self-destructive choice for me than an enlightened rainbow-and-unicorn choice. This book is very. . real. It very much discusses the agonies of dying, death, and mourning. It also discusses the extreme power of love, that overpowers, even these extricating experiences. So, the optimism is: everything really really hurts but there are forces on this planet (i.e.:love) that’s worth all the pain. (That’s the kind of pessimism/optimism that I live for.)
Since I started this book I have had an extreme anxiety that someone I love will die. I have had particular people and ‘fantasies’ about those people in mind — I do have some emotional health disorders, so maybe this did trigger an attack, but I am experiencing something dark. This book did spark this inside of me. In a sense, this book is the grenade– this dark short piece that has engrossed me with pain — but I love it so deeply that it is worth it. So, it is accidentally? meta* in this fashion. This book gave me a pleasant and enjoyable relationship with a cast of characters that really feel ‘alive’ to me, plus, a concrete reminder of yes, mortality, but also that other people think like I do — that I’m not alone, that we are all on this planet dealing with this same subliminal experience.
*again the major plot point in this book in a fictional-book about cancer, so there is some intentional meta as well

Clitorises and Fiction — NEW Tumblr


Clitorises and Fiction

Ithink books are my passion.

English: The day before the Swedish book sale ...write and read but so what? Isn’t literacy a standard in my culture and privilege?

Maybe it is because my favorites cause me to vibrate. A rough vibration that jerks my body and croaks my throat’s hum. As if my body is figuring out how to move all over again. Why do these books resonate so profoundly? Is it because there is a part of me that’s so broken off from Earth that it can only be reached through fiction? How did she get so lonely? How can I help him? Why do they need this book to come out?

I sleep cuddling up to my books. I contemplate the contemporary publishing industry like I was the CEO of Penguin Random House. My boyfriend is a writer; I am part of a polyamorous writing group called Write Bitch, Write. We hang out in bookstores and have increasingly been going to readings in Manhattan. I met the members in the NYC kink scene. That’s relevant because in the scene I created my entire persona over a book character — Bellatrix Lestrange.

An ideal would be writing on the constant. But I do what I can. And when I abstain from writing, I feel guilt, like I should be. Like writing is the thing I’m supposed to be doing. I want to organize words forever. Put that word over here. Move that there. Change that word for another. Make that string of words longer. Shorter. Cut it. Save it. Save all the words in my bowels. I am a book. I am difficult to read. Dull at times. But then you get to a chapter that you didn’t think you would make it to. And you are on the floor, clenched over, feeling. And though the book slipped out of your hands, you are crying, and laughing, and overcome. That single chapter will haunt you

Library book shelves

always. Even if you didn’t enjoy the book on the whole.

Clitorises and Fiction is a venting post for my work in progresses. Writing musings, writing advice, horror and monster images, mythologies, publishing critiques, book reviews, and inspirations ahoy. The star of the show, for now, is a dark-fantasy and horror-erotica currently titled The Purple People Eaters. It is in the middle of its second draft.

The creator of this blog changes their pseudonym every five minutes. For now she is calling herself Indelibility. In stats he is 23, Brooklyn Bound, Queer, and Vegan. In the big picture they are rainbows, demons, cartoons, gore, clitorises and vulvas, bruises and gashes, urban rainforest, and moss.

How do I get my Short Story concept into a STORY ?


How do I get my Short Story concept into a STORY ?

How do I get my Short Story concept into a STORY ? 

Short stories are a narrative following one or two characters through one or two disasters. This journey is the story. This is different then a story concept. A concept is a cool idea. A concept is the what if. A concept example is: ‘what if a wizard became a priest?’ A plot example is that expanded to 5+ sentences with depth and density. In order to get a story with strong characters, character growth, inciting plot, and engaging conflicts you must brainstorm. The way I brainstorm is filling out the below form:

Concept: The idea. The spark. The what if. 

Point of ViewA one line statement that describes the MC / narrator . 

Goal: What’s the MC’s objective? What are they seeking?  

Conflict: What’s keeping the MC from achieving their goal? 

Resolution: How does the MC solve this conflict? How does the MC change throughout the story? 

Character: What really makes the MC tick? This is where you explore all necessary vicinities of your MC. 

Plot: Okay, now you have all the ingredients to the story! You just need to actualize it. For a short story I suggest writing a paragraph that starts with the conflict and ends with the resolution. 

  • After I Create My Paragraph I Reword It
  • So It Fits Five One or Two Sentence
  • Bulletin Points
  • Each bulletin point is a scene 
  • This list should be revised to perfection ! This is your outline. 

And that’s how I brainstorm a short story out of a concept! 

 

The Purple People Eaters, Writing Horror, Mental Illness, and Being Queer


Desideri, The Purple People Eaters, en~kay.ma~sa~ki

The antagonist of The Purple People Eaters.

The first draft of my novel, The Purple People Eaters, was completed a year ago today. The novel is about a paranormal alternative universe where a lolita siren becomes a famous pop star that captures America’s libido. The books stars a hard-working Brooklynite who quits her job to find allies and form a revolution against the very horny and morally corrupt society that the siren’s curse created.  I’m currently in the middle of the second-draft.

Since the novel’s birth, I have created a number of additional dark fantasies that all make me really wonder about my own sanity. Why is everything I create something to be ashamed of? Why can’t I write something that I can share with my family? Why is everything not just sexual but extremely dark and corrupt? What would it be like to write a happy story?

Like most of these blog posts, I wold be lying if I had any answer to the questions I propose. At times, I love my writing and I love my darkness. I love myself for my darkness. I protrude coal-black truths in my thoughts and in my writing and I would really enjoy creating a community where these metaphors and these morbidities are discussed openly. This is one of the motivations to complete and publish my work.

But when these writings go out, I am going to get so much flak. Hell, I have some legal issues with even getting pieces out there in the first place, so much so that I will commercialize my work to an extent. For example, I am in the process of bumping the age of my siren to eighteen. This is because I don’t want to get arrested or banned from Amazon/Smashwords. But even with those changes, my book will still be very dark. Someone will accuse me for being mentally ill and when that happens I can’t even disagree. I am mentally ill. I do have social anxiety, panic attacks, and chronic depression (Yeah, I am super fun). This does create the way I see the world and thus the art I create. But that doesn’t mean I am an example for every mentally ill person.

Besides a horror-writer, I am also a queer person. Though I have been very close with many straight people where this isn’t the case, there have been

Desideri, The Purple People Eaters, en~kay.ma~sa~ki

Horror-erotica. Because erotica writing just wasn’t socially awkward enough!

times where I have been backed in a questioning corner for being queer by straight “allies”.  When I have been out to them, then I instantly become this giant example of how queer people are. How “bisexual” people are. (Dumbing down your identity 101) How kinky people are. How polyamorous people are.  How genderqueer people are. And I instantly become the pinnacle queer person and everything I say or do stems from that. Even though  I am one of millions, and we all have our own backgrounds and point of views– even though we are complex multidimensional human beings. We become flattened to queerness. A one size fit all package.

And the frustrating guilt I feel for affirming any stereotype! I am particularly concerned with being polyamorous and “bisexual” and affirming the ideas that all bisexuals are promiscuous and indecisive. But though I’m concerned over this, I am not interested in the slightest to force myself in a relationship structure that I am uncomfortable with just because I’m concerned with what straight people think. I am going to be me, not an example for straight people.

So I’m going to come full circle with my book. I have a lot of guilt with my morbid writing but I also really enjoy it. Not only do I find it fun, but it is like therapy. In exploring my imagination, I find others that connect with it. Should I stop doing what I enjoy because others might think I’m mentally ill? When they find out that I actually AM mentally ill and judge me for it, should I stop doing what I enjoy then?  Writing is akin to breathing. I’m not going to stop breathing because I’m going to offend someone.

I’m not really hurting anyone here. There are destructive elements to my novel however they are impossible to replicate because they are layered with fantasy and horror. And these destructive elements are also sociopolitical commentaries about empathetic intelligence, equality, care and compassion, and community forming. These are not themes of a book that shouldn’t be written or published. These are themes I should– that I will be proud and confident about.

I enjoy being queer. At times my traditional background makes it difficult, but in moments of true queer expression, I am more honest with my strengths, beauties, and intricacies. The stuff I love. 

The secret to horror writing is to apply these same self-assured attitudes.  

Desideri, The Purple People Eaters, en~kay.ma~sa~ki

^O^!